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As I sat in the sterile, inoffensive waiting room of the pediatrician's office, my gaze managed to find the TV across the room.  My wife and I brought our little one in for a check-up, and I was quite tired from her previous evening awakenings.  The TV was going to bring me some comfort during our short wait for the doctor.  Unfortunately as the commercials faded into the actual programming, I realized the poor decision I made.  The channel was set to CoComelon, and my eyes nearly popped out of my head from having rolled them so hard.  

For the uninitiated (I envy you), CoComelon is one of the top if not THE top channel on YouTube for children's programming.  Most of it is geared towards young children, with the shows appearing inoffensive (though not to everyone).  While I do appreciate the bright colors, I'm offended by CoComelon for an entirely different reason:  it's mind-numbing, brain-rotting effect on its whole audience.  Seriously, if you can watch more than 20 minutes of those shows without scratching your head and saying, "HUH?!" and having your brain melt out of your ears, you're either more patient than me, the brain rot has already set in, or you're desperate.  And on that last point, I understand why to a degree.  Parents need breaks, and they want to put something on to have their kids watch while they do other things.  CoComelon seems innocent enough, and as a colleague of mine once said, "CoComelon is crack for children."  But if we take the metaphor a little too far, isn't crack bad for you?

I grew up watching VHS tapes of cartoon compilations.  It's probably hard for younger readers to wrap their heads around (and honestly, it is for me too, sometimes), but there was no streaming when I was a kid.  We eventually got dial-up internet, but there wasn't much you could do with it compared to today's high-speed connections.  As such, if you wanted to watch something, either you watched what was on TV, you bought physical media, or you went to the video rental store.  I was lucky enough to have quite a few tapes, so I would watch them on repeat until content.  While I had my generation's classics (e.g. TMNT, Earthworm Jim), I remember watching older cartoons too.  Vintage Disney movies (ones the man himself worked on), Looney Tunes, Casper the Friendly Ghost, Felix The Cat, Tom and Jerry, and Superman were just a few of the cartoons on these compilations.  If I took a sick day from school, and I didn't want to play Super Nintendo, I remember putting those tapes on and enjoying the heck out of them.

As an adult, I long for the days when children's programming wasn't just mindless singing and bright colors.  What kind of message is the show going to teach the next generation?  Are the stories thrilling?  And where is the edge?  It seems to me that kids' shows are so bland and inoffensive so they aren't going to fall prey to angry parents who want their kids to live in happy little bubbles.  Of course I too want my daughter to be happy, AND I want her to understand that there will be conflict in her life.  There will be challenges and hardships she will need to overcome.  Sometimes, those things are scary.  But, if she has heroes who show her how to overcome troubling situations in a funny and entertaining way, then maybe she can too.  At the very least, she can be comforted after a tough day.  

So that settled it.  I logged into Amazon and bought a few different compilations of Max Fleischer cartoons.  I specifically chose him because A) I'm so thoroughly disappointed in Disney these days, and B) he was cited as the main source of inspiration for Cuphead, which is one of the best games I've ever played.  As I looked into Fleischer's works, I was shocked to learn how much he had a hand in when he was alive.  Not only was he behind the Superman, Casper, and Felix cartoons I mentioned earlier, but he also made Popeye the Sailor Man and dozens of other cartoons, including Betty Boop. 

Now, I didn't want to have anything to do with "girl things" when I was a boy.  However, even I couldn't get away from seeing Betty on tons of apparel when I was growing up, so I at least knew of her.  Considering her staying power (and the fact that I have a girl), I thought I would purchase one compilation of her cartoons to see what all the fuss was about.  And I'd rather have Betty be someone my daughter idolizes rather than some other current "superstars."

The packages arrived quickly, and I decided to watch the entire Betty Boop compilation.  The back of the box says the following about our leading lady:

"Regarded as one of the first and most famous sex symbols on the animated screen, she was a symbol of the Depression era and a reminder of the more carefree days of the Roaring Twenties.  Her popularity was drawn larger from adult audiences, and the cartoons, while seemingly surreal, contained many sexual and psychological elements."

Okay box, you've piqued my interest.  Let's see what this is all about.  

I started up the show, and I was amazed by the incredible animation.  Knowing that the creators had to draw each frame of the show by hand, it makes me appreciate the medium even more.  Sure, computers are wonderful, but the knowledge that these people worked for months on hand-drawn frames to make a short 7-minute cartoon shows a level of dedication that not many people have. 

As the cartoons played out, I found myself laughing at silly situations (e.g. a fish pulling its skeleton out of itself only to then play its ribs like a washboard).  There was a certain passion and edge to the shorts that just doesn't come across in modern kids' shows (at least none that I've seen).  There were even plenty of nods in the show for adults, including multiple characters helping Betty out by pulling her dress down when it rode too high and men melting over her fine figure.  

For example, in Betty Boop's Trial, Betty is trying to get somewhere in her car until a police officer gets the hots for her.  He tries to flirt with her, but she isn't having any of it.  He gets mad and hauls her off to the courtroom.  The judge and jury are so smitten with her that she gets off whatever charge she had coming to her.  When she does, she sends air kisses to all of the men, and they melt like butter.  What man amongst us doesn't know the feeling of a pretty lady batting her eyes at us and then losing all sense of self-control?  What woman amongst us doesn't understand how to use their charms to entice a man into doing all sorts of things for her?  None of this would be anywhere near a CoComelon show.

In another cartoon, Betty Boop's Birthday Party, Betty starts off lamenting all the work she has to do around the house.  Eventually, the doorbell rings, and she exclaims, "I hope it's a man!"  Yes, I laughed at that.  There was also a giraffe that ate too many donuts, and their silhouettes went up and down his neck.  At the end of the scene, his head falls on the table before cutting away.  My wife and I looked at each other and asked, "Did... did that giraffe just choke to death?" before laughing at the dark humor.  Again, what modern cartoon would you find this comedy gold baked in?  

One thing I noticed about each cartoon is the disclaimer at the bottom of the credits:  "Passed the National Board of Review."  While the focus of this article isn't on the Board's entire history, a TL;DR is that the Board would approve works of cinema and tell creators to cut certain things that it found objectionable.  In fact, before a name change in 1916, the organization's original title was The New York Board of Censorship of Motion Pictures.  At least they were honest about what they were doing prior to the name change.  Regardless, many films prior to the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) have the disclaimer about passing the National Board of Review to show that there was some quality control. 

Honestly, I don't think limiting access to poor quality works is a bad thing in theory.  Having some degree of norms and quality control is a good thing.  However, the question I fall back on is this:  who gets to make the decisions?  Back then, Betty Boop's suggestive nature was fine.  Would it still be okay today?  And if not, why not?  Who are the people given power to be offended on behalf of society?  I'd rather have less censorship.  Trash "works of art" will sink to the bottom while middling to great artistic pieces will have a wider audience.

Which leads me to modern day.  The Internet has leveled the playing field for artists.  With platforms like YouTube, Rumble, Patreon, Locals, and all of the social media sites, people can connect and put their art online for anyone to see.  Sure, this leads to garbage, AND it also leads to people who would've been unknown in a prior era.  Unfortunately, like our predecessors, there seems to be quite a bit of censorship that still goes on.  One thing that particularly grinds my gears is the de-sexualization of people in art. 

Now, before you go on about how I'm just some insatiable pervert, I want to present you with a few examples.  Take the upcoming Fable game.  Again, for the uninitiated, Fable is a long-running series about creating your character and going on a fantasy adventure.  This is a still from a recent trailer:

Now, I don't know about you, but she is ugly.  And it's okay to have less attractive characters in stories.  Not everybody needs to be Sydney Sweeney.  Still, she is really ugly and doesn't even have great feminine features.  Is this who you want to be your default female protagonist?  I'm not at all interested in her story, and I'm not alone in that assertion.  Now, you may be thinking to yourself that this is just one example.  Let's go with another one:

This is a protagonist from the Horizon series.  On the left is Aloy from the first game, and on the right is her appearance from the second game.  She looks definitively less feminine (and I picked a flattering picture of her from the second game).  "Okay, sure Greg, you've got two.  That isn't a trend."  Here's another:  

Mary Jane from Spider-Man to Mary Jane from Spider-Man 2, both PlayStation games.  Her features were made less feminine.  And this is to say nothing of feminine clothing in games.  If you want a fuller breakdown of this issue, Sydney Watson has a great video on the topic:

It bothers me that sex appeal seems to be disappearing in larger works of art.  Please don't take that to mean sex is disappearing.  There are plenty of shows and movies with that in it.  I mean sex appeal.  Women appearing curvy (in the traditional sense), charming, and feminine while men are strong, ripped, and masculine.  

Which is why I took notice of an upcoming game called Stellar Blade.  This upcoming action game shows a voluptuous robot out to save the world.  In fact, the Korean developers went out of their way to scan in a Korean model to base their character off, as they wanted the player to enjoy looking at who they are controlling.

Already, there are calls for the game to be ignored/dismissed.  For example, apparently the only reason people like it is because of a hot protagonist.

 

Also been thinking about the weird over-sexualization of the main character in Stellar Blade and how GG folks are losing their minds to make a point. Had to share this. pic.twitter.com/eG6dV0vjjl

— Kahlief Adams (@KahliefAdams) April 2, 2024

 

IGN France also apparently had something interesting to say, though I had trouble finding the original article:

 

So @IGN calls Stellar Blade protagonist a sexualized “doll” and says the creator “has never seen a living woman.”

The not real “doll”:

The creator’s wife and team artist: pic.twitter.com/IPgDbwmdgR

— Grummz (@Grummz) March 30, 2024

 

Though I focused on women for a majority of this article, you can find numerous examples of men being neutered to some degree (e.g. Nick Fury in Secret Invasion compared to Nick Fury in every Marvel movie up through Endgame).  I'm still waiting for a resurgence of new 80s action heroes, but rather with a new crop of 2020s action heroes.  Who are the buff, heroic men in today's film, TV, and gaming landscapes that aren't legacy characters from before the 2020 pandemic?  There aren't many (if any) of them.

My point is this:  it seems as though there is a turning away from traditional masculine and feminine sex appeal.  Again, not every character in media needs to be sexy.  However, in thinking about humans, we tend to do better if we have something to aspire to.  There is a reason beautiful art depicts fit and sexy people.  We may not ever get to that level ourselves, AND we can strive for it.  That doesn't mean we hate who we are because we can't get there; after all, I won't be a ripped 80s action star anytime soon.  Still, I aspire to go to the gym and try to stay in shape.  I want that for all my loved ones, too. 

I also want my daughter to grow up in a world where she can see what being a healthy, well-adjusted woman is, and that will include her trying to figure out sex appeal (though not for a long time.  And I will have a shotgun to polish for when the boys start coming around).  Being a woman has many aspects to it, just as being a man does too.  I don't want her to start hating herself for things women like to do.  For example, I don't think it's controversial to say that women tend to enjoy fashion and catching the eye of men.  This is perfectly natural and acceptable.  Unfortunately, a lot of modern media just portrays women as the insufferable "girl boss" who tends to be aggressive like men.  I want my daughter to be assertive, AND I want her to feel comfortable being a woman.  She doesn't have to do the things men do to get ahead.  In fact, being a kind-hearted, classy, graceful, intelligent woman will help her stand out more so than being aggressive. 

How will she develop these qualities?  Certainly her mother and I will help her.  We'll do our best to help her navigate this crazy world.  She will also need fun examples from great stories.  Stories like classic cartoons.  It's better for her to have healthy, aspirational idols to look up to so she can develop her own womanhood.  And I want those idols to be attractive, too.  I want beauty to be normalized for her rather than demonized.  

In the meantime, I'll continue to enjoy classic cartoons with my girl while I can.  And you can Bet-ty your Boop-Oop-Be-Doop on that.

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I am a father, and I am not a good mother.

Shocking stuff, I know.  However, this can be a frustrating fact for me to accept.  My wife recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, and I'm thrilled to finally have a daughter of my own.  Given that baby girl is so young (almost 3 weeks), she has a lot of needs.  That she communicates to us loudly.  Through screaming.  At 3 AM.  

I'm fortunate enough to have 12 weeks of paternity leave to help out at home.  My wife needs to recovery from the labor and birth, and my daughter will do better if she has another caretaker around.  All of this has been a crash course in infants for me, as I never had any babies in my family.  Growing up, I was the youngest, so there were no opportunities to be around very little ones.  I'm learning a lot about babies, and here is the biggest takeaway I have realized:  I'm not a good mother.  

If it's my turn to watch baby girl, I do my best to ensure she is comfortable.  If she starts fussing, I go down the checklist of things that are likely the source of the angst:  hunger, diaper change, physical touch, temperature, fatigue.  I'd say handling these things work a good 50% of the time.  However, there are those days where she just won't settle.  I hold her close, I rock her, I speak sweet nothings into her ears... I do all the things I've been taught to do by my wife.  Yet sometimes there is no consoling my daughter.  After about 15-20 minutes or so of trying everything I can think of, I'll ask my wife to step in (if she is awake).  9 times out of 10, she will hold our daughter, and within minutes, baby girl calms down.  My wife isn't doing anything radically different from what I'm doing.  What gives?!

The power of the mother-child connection cannot be overstated.  My daughter is so used to my wife.  9 months of growing inside her, learning her voice, her movements, her mannerisms, and all other aspects of my wife meant that our daughter is already predisposed to feeling more comfortable with her mother.  I'm grateful for this connection, as it calms baby girl down whenever she cannot be soothed by me.  At the same time, it's also moderately frustrating that I can do the same things and not get the results my wife does. 

Don't get me wrong, I know that I have a role to play in this little one's life in her future.  I'm very excited dreaming about taking her for ice cream for the first time, showing her my hobbies, listening to her ask questions about the world, and watching her grow into a beautiful young woman.  However, children require different things from their parents, and right now, my wife is the star of my daughter's show.  The powerful connection a mother has with her child(ren) is awe-inspiring and beautiful, helping the new generation acclimate to our crazy world.  I love it, even when it frustrates a new father who can't stop the crying at 3 AM.

“I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO PUSH!” 

          My wife screamed out to the doula on a late Valentine’s Eve, hoping to get some relief from the stabbing pain in her lower body.  The doula called the nurses in, and the medical Avengers assembled shortly thereafter.  With each passing moment and louder yell from my wife, I noticed that I was breathing less and less.  My heart was pounding, waiting for the moment when all this would be over.  I never heard my love shriek as much or in as guttural of a way as she did in that hospital room, but I hoped to never have to hear it again. 

          “Push with the contractions!”

          “The baby is crowning!”

          “You aren’t done yet.  I need another good push.”

          Orders and observations filled the air, and I could hear my wife’s exasperation and frustration with the event.  Would this baby ever come?  Eventually, the pushes and screams gave way to cries of joy as our healthy baby girl was born in the early Valentine’s Day morning.  This marked 4 years since my wife and I matched on Hinge, and we couldn’t be more thrilled to have a child of our own.  I was (and still am) so grateful towards my wife for handling the pregnancy and labor like a champion.  Without her, I couldn’t be the proud father I am today.

          The medical staff guided us through the next few hours.  One of the things they explained to us is that our daughter would have an ankle monitor placed on her so no one could steal her.  Additionally, my daughter, my wife, and I would be fitted with unique wristbands to ensure we had the right baby.  At the time, I found these measures to be very comforting and professional.  I definitely did not want anyone walking away with our daughter.  And yet, aside from a short obstructed view of her entering and leaving the nursery for initial testing (each obstructed view being less than 2 minutes), I wondered what I was concerned about?  After all, I knew what my baby looked like, and it was 2:30 AM.  How many babies get swapped or go missing at that time?  It seemed silly to worry about.  Why was I doing so? 

          And then it hit me.  Culture.

          A quick Google search did not provide me any hard numbers for how many babies are switched at birth.  While it does happen, it doesn’t appear to be the epidemic that one often thinks it is.  People are hardly to blame for thinking this though, as a second Google search yielded numerous results for entertainment that showcased babies being switched at birth.  Switched at Birth, Mistaken Identity, Broken Pieces, Daughter From Another Mother, Like Father Like Son, and even The Omen all share in the theme of babies going to the wrong parents.  Another twist on this idea is the splitting up of twins in movies like The Parent Trap.  This of course isn’t an exhaustive list, and not all of the movies mentioned are major hits.  However, the ones that are stick with people.  Their power in the culture is undeniable.  The fact that I was worried about such a thing happening on the day of my daughter’s birth shows the immense sway creative cultural products can have on us.

          That doesn’t mean that culturally powerful things are all bad.  While some can certainly be less desirable (I’m looking at you, Star Wars sequel trilogy), others such as The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Star Wars, The Avengers, and numerous others have inspired countless people.  Qualities such as selflessness, bravery, wisdom, and beauty are exalted in well-made cultural projects.  Without an ideal to look towards, people can become aimless and unsure of what to do with their lives.  Powerful cultural icons help us redirect to the lives we want to live.  However, it is important that we are aware of what icons are impacting us and how they are doing so.  If we aren’t mindful of this, we may be influenced in the wrong ways.

          So the question I leave you with is this:  what cultural assumptions have been unconsciously guiding your life?  How would your life be different if you modified your assumptions to be something else?  Leave a comment and let me know.